This Wednesday, October 9th, I start my second phase of chemotherapy.

Four grueling infusion sessions over eight weeks that will once again fill me with the FLOT chemotherapy regime as it is the currently designated most effective drug cocktail to deal with stomach cancer.

*** As mentioned before, a side benefit of this chemo is that other cancer cell types (esophageal, intestinal, colon, prostate, and testicular) will die, too.***

I am not looking forward to the chemo treatment…and not for the reasons you may think.

My first round of chemo went fairly “well”. I never threw up. I did lose my hair, but I only lost a few pounds, that I quickly gained back. And I only ended up in the hospital once for a brief 24-hour stay that may or may not have been chemo-related (the doc’s still don’t know what happened).

I am not looking forward to the treatment this time because my post gastrectomy healing has not been going as well as planned and hoped.

I have been home from the hospital for almost two weeks now. I am still in a bit of pain from the two stents placed to isolate the perforation between my esophagus and jejunum…the reason I ended up in the hospital for almost a month.

Though I have no leakage out of the perforation, the stents apply considerable pressure in my chest that makes eating and drinking difficult. Along with the fact that the two stents effectively render my esophagus to be no larger than 2-3 centimeters in diameter…which means my food has to be very finely chewed or blended to make its way into my small intestines. If the food is too big…I’ll just say that eating (or even drinking) becomes a very unpleasant experience.

Also, while the doctor’s told me I would have a reduced desire or sensation to want to eat, I never imagined that I would never feel hungry. Ever.

I mean I am never, ever, ever, never hungry.

I force anything I do eat or drink. And only done on a time table according to the last time I ingested something (about every 2-3 hours).

I, unfortunately, am not getting enough calories a day. With the aid of a nutritionist, I am trying to “cheat” my way to more calories through meal supplements – fortified milk (whole milk with added dry milk), heavy cream, mayo, ranch dressing, and / or specially formulated food enhancers to boost my raw calories and protein (like Benecalorie and Boost Very High Calorie supplements).

I fear it will not be enough to get me through chemo.

I reached out to the doctors to share my concerns and the fact that I continue to lose weight (I tip the scales at a burly 140 lbs – I went into surgery on August 26th at 175 lbs).

The current plan is to set me up with a home Total Parenteral Nutrition or TPN feeding regime. In short, it is an intravenous means to get me the nutrition I need to endure chemo.

Another option could be a feeding tube direct into my small intestines.

I had both means of nutrition while I was in the hospital. I had a PICC line placed for the TPN and a tube in my nose down to my intestines for the feeding tube.

I would need surgery to place a new feeding tube in my abdomen. Surgery and chemotherapy do not go well together, minimizing a feeding tube as an option. So the doctors will most likely place another PICC line or some other catheter in me and proceed with TPN for the duration of my chemo.

I’ll be able to run the TPN at night while sleeping at home. It should provide the daily nutrition I need to endure these last sessions of chemo.

This has been a long, hard road. It is not over yet, but the end is near.

Though I have endured much of my treatment and recovery alone, I still share a sense of community and support as never before in my life. We have gotten this far together, and will finish together – stronger and better for the effort!